About: The Main Character

I’m really proud of my book (my book! my book! that’s still so exciting to say) and I love telling the story behind it. It starts with Lyla, my four-year-old cousin. Lyla and her parents live in Pittsburgh and I simply wouldn’t have survived my first year here without them. We got really close really fast, but it was hard not to when I spent every weekend on their couch. Lyla was only two then and she seemed to get very sick very often, even for a kid that goes to preschool. My aunt and uncle spent a lot of time caring for a sick Lyla, holding her down for blood draws, and waiting in doctor’s offices just to leave without answers. Despite numerous rounds of testing, here we are two years later and Lyla still does not have an answer. Currently, the working diagnosis is an “unspecified autoinflammatory disease.”

During one of our many hang-outs spent playing Barbies, I noticed that Lyla was once again acting out a doctor/patient interaction with our dolls. In her play, the doctors were mean and scary, offering no comfort before running off to the next patient and leaving my Barbie alone and crying with a new diagnosis (which was usually something weird, like ‘your arms will fall off soon’ or ‘you can only eat socks, not food’). Being in grad school studying the developmental psychology of children with special healthcare needs, it was simultaneously really cool to see this happen before my eyes and really sad that my cute little cousin was so sick – a feeling I’m all too familiar with. It makes me think of Laney. This time, I felt old enough to do something. I went home and searched for a children’s book that might help Lyla understand what was happening to her.

I was expecting to find only a few options, but instead found nothing. Nothing. I couldn’t believe it. How could there be so many professionals out there, but nothing existed that felt right for Lyla’s situation? At the time, there was a trending TikTok sound of Thanos saying “fine. I’ll do it myself” and that’s what played in my head in that moment. If there wasn’t a book that worked, I’d make one. Lyla deserved that. So did Laney, and every other kid who’s been scared in a hospital before. I was excited, but terrified, and went to sleep dreaming of my silly idea. “Me, write a book? Who do I think I am?” repeated in my head. I told myself I’d write something down just to get it out of my system, but there was no way I’d pursue it or show it to anyone. I’d burn some creative energy and support Lyla in other ways.

Days passed and I felt like I had to write for my own good, even if it felt silly. I drew myself a bubble bath and set up my laptop on my bath tray. I started writing and it felt so natural. I was onto something great, and I couldn’t stop myself. So I didn’t!

More than anything, this book is for Lyla. I hope it helps her see that regardless of blood draws, a mystery illness, or any other medical complication, she is supported and she is strong. I hope Lyla grows up mentally and physically healthy. I hope my book gets into the hands of any child that needs it, and I hope Lyla knows that is the ripple effect of her impact on me. I love you, Jibby!